The Power of True Submission in Unlocking Unexpected Joy
The power of true submission goes beyond old ideas of subservience, embodying mutual respect, understanding, and harmony in various relationships.
In our quest for happiness and fulfillment, we often overlook the most unconventional paths.
True submission actively creates mutual respect, understanding, and harmony in our personal, professional, and spiritual relationships, and it’s not outdated subservience.
Think about what submission really means: giving up some control can actually make us feel stronger and happier.
Join me as I unravel the layers of submission, discovering its hidden strengths and transformative potential.
Submission can mean different things to different people.
For me, I always thought it was just another way for people to control me.
Ask a man who has been raised by kind and Godly parents what submission is. Ask a woman who has been in multiple relationships with abusive men. They each will give you very different answers.
I Was There…
For a woman who’s been in hurtful relationships, submission can feel scary, unlike how it should in good relationships.
Her view on submission could be influenced by past times when wrongly used for control by a abusive partner.
This can apply to a boy or man also. It’s not just an issue for girls and women. I’m writing here mainly concerning submission in marriage though.
Understanding How Past Abuse Shapes Perceptions of Submission
Perceived As A Loss of Control:
Submission might feel like giving up control of her life and choices to someone else, making her feel helpless.
Associated with Fear and Coercion:
In unhealthy relationships, someone might be forced or scared into submission, instead of it being a respectful choice made together.
Linked to Loss of Identity:
She might feel like she’s losing who she is, having to do only what her partner wants, not what she likes. I thought I had to be a different person.
Seen as Perpetuating Abuse:
In her past, she might have used submission to survive in the cycle of abuse, but this sadly kept the abuse going.
Misunderstood as a Norm:
If abuse was normal in the past, she might believe that submission, is just typical.
Distrust in Relationships:
Having been in abusive relationships, the idea of willingly submitting in any context may link to distrust and fear. This makes it challenging to engage in healthy relationship dynamics.
Confusion Between Submission and Partnership:
She might find it hard to tell the difference between a healthy, equal partnership and harmful, one-sided submission.
It’s so very important to approach this topic with sensitivity and understanding.
The healing process for someone who has been in abusive relationships involves relearning and redefining many concepts, including submission, within the context of respect, equality, and healthy boundaries.
My husband and I attended counseling sessions at our church, and during one group meeting, which included three women, two men, and us, a particular incident stood out.
One of the men, while discussing his views on decision-making, adopted a rather arrogant demeanor. He looks directly at me and firmly states that when he decides something, that’s final, as if issuing a warning to me.
His tone felt confrontational, and it struck a nerve, especially since I was already upset with my husband over a recent discovery.
I’ve never been one to show fear, particularly in front of men.
The man maintained intense eye contact, but I met his gaze without flinching and even let out a small chuckle, signaling my disbelief.
In my mind, I thought, “Is he serious?” Despite his generally nice personality, his approach to explaining submission was off the mark. It didn’t clarify things for me; rather, it pushed me into a defensive stance.
Fortunately, a sense of calm, which I attribute to the Holy Spirit, settled over me as the meeting concluded. The session ended on an okay note, but it left me with much to ponder on regarding submission.
This experience highlighted an essential lesson: truly understanding submission means knowing what it definitely isn’t.
What Submission Is NOT
Submission is not what many may fear it to be.
It’s not about losing your voice or becoming invisible in the shadow of another. It’s definitely not a sign of weakness or a reason for someone to treat you badly.
Submission isn’t about giving up your dreams, your likes and dislikes, your opinions, or your wonderful uniqueness.
It’s not a one-way street where one person holds all the power and the other simply follows. Nor is it about living in fear or feeling less valued.
When I truly understood what it is NOT I realized that most of my life I had been trying to be submissive, but the men in my life didn’t ‘allow’ it.
They either didn’t care or they didn’t know how to treat a woman.
When my husband truly came under the authority of Christ and our church leaders he began understanding what real submission is.
THAT saved our marriage.
In one of the sessions I had with just the gals one of the ladies said something that completely opened my eyes.
“Bobbi… You don’t change who you are with submission. You’re still YOU!”
I was like, “Wait… What?” lol
“So, I can disagree and that’s okay?” YES!
“I can voice my opinions about not wanting what he wants?” YES!
When I realized this I felt so empowered.
I had always felt deep inside that my personality couldn’t have been a mistake, because God doesn’t make mistakes.
I still had things I needed to work on like anger and being mouthy with my husband, but knowing that my personality is okay gave me the freedom to be me. Which in turn calmed my spirit and a lot of my irritation with my husband left.
He’s not my boss, he’s not my controller, he’s not my cruel master.
He’s just a man that has as much if not more to learn about obedience and submission as I do. If he starts being bossy or demanding or grumpy I can simply remind him to be kind.
What IS Christlike Submission?
Christian submission, in its most genuine and splendid form, offers profound benefits that can deeply enrich our daily lives.
This concept, rooted in mutual respect, love, and care, extends beyond the confines of religious doctrines into practical, everyday interactions.
It’s about nurturing an environment where each person feels valued and heard. It’s where the needs and desires of one are not placed above the other, but are considered with equal importance and empathy.
Submission in Families
Imagine a family where parents and children practice this kind of submission.
It’s not just about children obeying parents, but also about parents listening to their children’s thoughts and feelings, valuing their opinions, and considering their needs.
Decisions are made collaboratively, with each member’s perspective being given weight. This way, everyone feels included and respected, with kids learning to be thoughtful and kind, just like their parents.
Submission in Marriage
In marriage, Christian submission transforms into a beautiful partnership.
It’s not about one partner dominating or making all the decisions, but about both partners consulting each other, making decisions together, and often putting the other’s needs before their own.
For example, one partner might forego an evening out with friends to stay home with the other who’s had a tough day. Or, they might engage in a hobby that they’re not particularly fond of, simply because it brings joy to their spouse.
These acts of love and consideration, grounded in the spirit of submission, create a deeper bond and a stronger relationship.
What About Submission At Work?
In the workplace, this concept can revolutionize professional relationships. When a leader practices Christian submission, they lead not by exerting authority, but by serving their team, considering their team members’ ideas, and recognizing their contributions.
Such a leader might take the time to mentor a struggling employee, or share credit for a successful project with their team.
This approach not only fosters a positive work environment, but also inspires loyalty and a collaborative spirit among team members.
Power of True Submission: Unlocking Unexpected Joy
The beauty of Christian submission lies in its reciprocity and its ability to create harmony and mutual respect in various aspects of life.
It’s about putting love into action every day, cherishing and nurturing the individuality and worth of those around us, while also sharing our own.
In doing so, we build stronger, more loving, and empathetic communities, reflecting the true essence of this beautiful principle.
It’s like a harmonious dance where both partners take turns leading and following, creating a balance that’s both joyful and deeply respectful.
Where DO We Wives Submit?
When there is a decision that you and your husband just can’t come to an agreement on, the decision should fall to your husband.
There are exceptions to this rule.
For example, if you are trying to decide what color the new dishwasher should be and you both are not coming to an agreement, I believe it should fall on the person who is ‘working’ in the kitchen the most. ?
If you, as the wife, are in the kitchen cleaning, cooking and whatnot then I personally think that should be your decision.
Of course, this will depend on the cost of the appliance and if you and your husband can afford it or not. He may need to make that call on the purchase.
That’s MY opinion though.
I absolutely love that I can have my own opinions. Don’t you?
Hey! If this has changed your view on Godly submission let me know below in the comments. If this article has helped you, please like and share it. This helps my reach and in return my small family business. Thank you so much!
XOXOXO
~ Bobbi
