It always surprises me that depression can hit even when you’re close to God. There are seasons when our walk with God feels especially close.
When prayer flows naturally, His presence feels near, and we find ourselves talking with Him throughout the day.
That’s why it can be so unsettling when emotional darkness appears during one of those seasons. We suddenly wonder how we went from intimate fellowship with God to struggling just to feel like ourselves.
I recently walked through a week like that.
There were real pressures around me, but I had also been seeking the Lord closely, asking for His direction and having beautiful fellowship with Him, yet somehow I found myself under a heaviness that became increasingly difficult to shake.
When Depression Pulls You Toward Isolation
One of the first things that changed was my desire to be around other people. I missed several gatherings with women I love because I felt so heavy that I did not want to enter the room carrying sadness and possibly affect everybody else’s joy.
That may sound considerate, but depression has a way of turning isolation into something that feels reasonable. We tell ourselves that we will come back when we feel better, but sometimes withdrawing simply gives the darkness more room to surround us.
By Sunday, I knew I needed to go to church even though my emotions were still struggling. I went to pre-service prayer, and much of what was prayed seemed to speak directly into what I had been experiencing.
Before worship began, a friend approached me with wonderful news. She had gotten a job I had helped connect her with after a leader in women’s ministry asked whether I knew a person who might be right for a caregiving position.
I had recommended her and later shared a reference for her because I felt that was what the Lord wanted me to say. When she told me she had gotten the position, the joy on her face immediately stirred joy inside of me too.
God used that moment to remind me that my difficult week had not made me useless. Even while I was hurting, He allowed me to play a part in something good He was doing in another person’s life.
Freedom at the Altar
Then worship began, and I went to the altar carrying the weight of the previous week. Somewhere in the middle of worship, the heaviness that had seemed so powerful began to release its grip.
I cannot reduce that moment to a formula, because worship is not a technique we use to manipulate our emotions nor manipulate God. What I can say is that the presence of Jesus became greater than the darkness I had been fighting, and at the foot of the Cross I experienced freedom.
That experience was humbling because I have written an entire devotional called 14 Days to Overcome Depression with Jesus. The Lord taught me years before and also while I was writing it, but knowing truth does not mean we will never have to fight again or stand in that truth ourselves.
Sometimes the truths we teach others are the very truths God will later ask us to live more deeply. Scripture is not merely information for the seasons when life is going well; it becomes the foundation beneath our feet when our feelings are telling us something entirely different.
You Do Not Have to Walk Through This Alone
This is also why 14 Days to Overcome Depression with Jesus means even more to me now.
It wasn’t written to tell hurting people to simply cheer up, try harder, or pretend the darkness is not real; it was created to help you intentionally invite Jesus into that darkness and begin anchoring your heart in His truth one day at a time.
If you are struggling with depression and you feel spiritually exhausted, emotionally numb, or unsure where to begin with God, I encourage you to walk through those 14 days with Jesus.
Give Him your heaviness, open the Scriptures with Him, pray through what you are carrying, and allow Him to meet you exactly where you are rather than waiting until you think you are strong enough to approach Him.
You were never meant to fight every dark thought by yourself. 14 Days to Overcome Depression with Jesus can give you a place to begin, and my prayer is that every day will point you away from the darkness and more deeply toward the One who is still holding you in the middle of it.
God Led Me Back to His Word
After church, I felt drawn to spend more quiet time with the Lord before going home. I walked through a field, talked with Him, and sang to Him just as I had done there the week before.
I love those moments with God, and I believe deeply in fellowship with the Holy Spirit. I talk with the Lord throughout my day, ask Him questions, seek His direction, and listen for the ways He is leading me.
Yet during that time, something became very clear to me. I had been enjoying fellowship with God, but I had gotten away from consistently opening the Bible every single day and intentionally spending time in His written Word.
I know Scripture, and many passages are already planted in my heart.
Still, remembering what I had read the week before or even yesterday isn’t the same as opening God’s Word today and allowing the Holy Spirit to speak through it into the life I am living right now.
worshiping in Spirit and in Truth
Jesus speaks about this beautifully in John chapter 4 when He teaches that true worshipers will worship the Father in Spirit and in Truth. Those words began to take on a deeper meaning for me.
That’s, in fact, what our service was about. Pastor Brad delivered it in such an impactful way. You can watch that service here, and I encourage you to.
We need the Spirit of God, and we need the truth of God. Christianity was never meant to become a lifeless exercise of gathering biblical information, but neither was it meant to become a faith built entirely upon our feelings, impressions, or experiences.
John chapter 14 gives us another piece of this beautiful relationship when Jesus speaks about the Holy Spirit as the Spirit of Truth. The Holy Spirit teaches believers, reminds us of what Jesus has said, guides us, comforts us, convicts us, and continually points us toward Christ.
The Holy Spirit and the Word of God will never be in competition with one another. The Spirit leads us into truth, and Scripture gives us a foundation through which our understanding, discernment, and spiritual experiences can remain rooted in the character of God.
That realization challenged me because I do not want to live entirely on yesterday’s Scripture. I do not want the only Word feeding me today to be something I read weeks ago or something I happened to remember during a crisis.
We Need Fresh Bread Every Day
God’s truth does not change, but our need to receive it is daily.
Just as our physical bodies need nourishment repeatedly, our hearts need the steady nourishment of God’s Word.
That does not mean every morning requires an hour-long Bible study. Sometimes it may simply mean taking one passage, asking the Holy Spirit to teach us, reading slowly, and allowing God’s truth to remain with us throughout the day.
The Book of John is a beautiful place to begin. John chapter 4 teaches us about worshiping in Spirit and in Truth, while John chapter 14 reveals much about Jesus, the Father, the Holy Spirit, obedience, peace, and the Spirit of Truth.
Victory Does Not Mean You Never Enter the Valley
There is an idea that strong faith should somehow protect us from ever experiencing discouragement or emotional darkness.
Scripture does not give us that picture, because some of God’s most faithful servants went through seasons of grief, exhaustion, fear, anguish, and deep discouragement.
I think of Elijah. In 1 Kings 19:4, we read that he was so afraid, exhausted, and discouraged that he asked God to take his life. God didn’t look down on him with irritation. He looked upon him with mercy. God sent ministering angels to help him. They fed him, gave him water, and rest to restore him.
Victory is not always the absence of a valley. Sometimes victory is discovering that Jesus is still Shepherd in the valley and that He knows exactly how to lead us through terrain we cannot navigate by ourselves.
For me, the path led me back into Scripture. God reminded me that I do not want to choose between a life filled with the Holy Spirit and a life firmly planted in His Word.
I want the Spirit of Truth teaching me as I open the Word of Truth, and I want Jesus to remain at the center of both. I want His Word shaping my thoughts, His Spirit guiding my steps, and His presence becoming more real to me than whatever darkness may try to surround me.
When the valley comes, do not assume it means God has disappeared. Keep drawing near, keep worshiping, stay connected to believers, open your Bible, and ask the Holy Spirit to lead you into the truth Jesus has already given.
Sometimes the valley becomes the very place where God teaches us how deeply we need Him. It can also be the place He is training and preparing us for our next level in walking with Him.
Spirit and Truth – we must have both.
If you’d like more you may like this post about How The Hopepreneur Was Born.
It’s Time to Get Your Hopes Up! <3
~ Bobbi
